After writing my last post on the New Rules for Men, it occurred to me that there should be a similar code of conduct geared towards women. But when I turned to Google, I was greeted with:
- Rules for Women in Saudi Arabia
- Rules for Women’s Lacrosse
- Rules for Women’s Softball
- Rules for Women’s College Basketball
Now I may be naive, but I would assume that rules for amateur sports would be gender neutral. While that may be fodder for another post, the point of this one is to provide YOU, the modern woman, with tips and tricks to help you live a life less ordinary.
- Invest in a good 20x makeup mirror and look closely, everyday. While you were sleeping, weirdly embarrassing hairs sprouted from your face. You should also invest in a good pair of tweezers and some nose hair trimmers.
- The transition to colder weather does not give you license to grow hair everywhere else. Have some pride and keep everything groomed, always…you don’t want to be caught off guard when you haven’t shaved in 12 weeks…
- Lotion, lotion, lotion…dry, flaky skin is not only uncomfortable, it’s unattractive.
- It’s not Halloween and you are not a skunk…colour your roots!
- Hygiene belongs at home! Under no circumstances is it appropriate to clip your nails, floss your teeth, tweeze your chin hairs or brush your hair in public – especially in a restaurant.
On Fashion and Style
- Unless you are under 16, the only excuse to leave your house in pajama bottoms is if it’s on fire…which brings me to the next point…
- Just because you wear them to bed doesn’t mean they should be ripped, too small or mismatched…think about those firemen…(you’re welcome!)
- It is not a badge of honour that you are wearing the same pants, shirt, coat or any article of clothing that you wore 20 years ago…chances are it no longer fits and by sheer luck that it does, it is most likely frayed, pilled and out of style…
- Cinderella is proof that a great pair of shoes can change your life – Crocs, Birkenstocks, Uggs and Flip Flops DO NOT fit the bill.
- Always adhere to the principles of of etiquette; consideration, respect, and honesty.
- Unless you are 5 or under, burping or farting in public is not funny or remotely acceptable.
- Your manners should be impeccable at all times…there is just no excuse for anything less.
- DO NOT air your dirty laundry on social networking sites. The dramatic airing of grievances is best done by text, in private.
- That said, NEVER break up with somebody, announce a death in the family or any other disturbing news by text…use the same courtesy you’d expect.
- DO NOT make someone a priority who makes you an option.
- Every guy loves a girl who’s a lady on the street and a hooker in bed.
- Keep the lines of communication open in the bedroom. Communication is key to keeping your sex life new and interesting.
- Never, ever question your own worth as a woman or a partner…no relationship is worth losing your self esteem or dignity over.
- The moment you start to wonder if you deserve better, you do.
- You are NOT the sum of your partner. Work hard at keeping your own unique identity…and for heaven’s sake, get your own credit rating.
Just Common Sense
- While you are silently judging every single person you meet, keep your comments to yourself…anything else is disrespectful.
- Be independent…learn to check your oil, change a tire and dine alone.
- Sometimes you just have to say NO… It’s hard but necessary.
- If you are unhappy with something or someone in your life, stop complaining and do something about it.
- Tip generously…have you ever waited tables??
- Please and Thank You never go out of style.
While navigating life may appear complicated, it’s really quite simple…think outside the box, colour outside the lines, be impeccably polite, settle for nothing less than you deserve and DARE TO BE REMARKABLE…